I find the unwritten rules around this frustratingly hard to grasp given I wasn't raised to understand them. Thanks to those women who have watched me get it wrong and guided rather than laughed.
And gents - the world would be a better place if you were in on this too, rather than having to constantly try to out-do each other. I tried and failed at that, and it didn't help my mental health at all.
It's impossible to be the best at everything. Just be the best you can be (factoring in issues you can't control), and help others to do the same.